he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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