Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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