Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
