69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
