Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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