just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
