I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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