got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
