She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
