i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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