Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
