Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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