youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
