Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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