the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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