i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just forgot I was standing up.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
