when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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