she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
