peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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