Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just tell him i said nine months
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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