I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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