i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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