I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
