shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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