Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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