i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
