Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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