We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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