The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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