you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
