I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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