i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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