I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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