just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
