he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
never play flip cup with pint glasses
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
