we're blogging at a bar
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
