i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize