I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
