He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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