I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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