that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
