so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dicks are not precious.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
