you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
