Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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