i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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