I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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