I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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