Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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