maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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