ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can I color on your dick again?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
