How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
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We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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