we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
