Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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