im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
