you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
