Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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