so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
