im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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