Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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