bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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